Sunday, January 31, 2010

On Facebook...

Let me ask a quick question... Isn't Facebook, if it's your personal page... suppose to be ALL about you and your life? (Or at least what you want to share?) On my facebook page... I have an assortment of friends, former co-workers, my family and DH's family. I share about what is going on in my life with all of them. It helps to keep friendships going...(or so I thought) and builds bonds with people. It has really helped to forge a wonderful bond with one of DH's sisters and his Aunt.

I know that when I share something... even something painful, that if my friends tell me that they are praying for me... I know that they are. I draw strength in that, because I am so far away from my friends and my family. Because most of my friends work... and have families of their own... and have life going on around them, this form of communication works pretty well until one of us has the time to call and catch up on stuff. (And if I called all the people that I communicate with on Facebook on a regular basis... I'd never get anything done!)

Without going into any "gory details"... one of my family members who thinks that they know me... called me out on facebook last night for posting about how I was feeling about the news of my Mom starting to go down hill... and then promptly "unfriended" me so that I couldn't even set the record straight. I was hurt and deeply saddened that someone who happens to be in my family but really hasn't had anything to do with me or my life in any real personal way for over 15 years feels that they can pass judgement on me about things that took place during my very turbulent teenage years... which really didn't have anything to do with my Mom, she just happened to bear the brunt all my issues. Or even some the years after that before I was able to make peace with my demons, go through years of therapy and come out on the other side as a pretty nice human being who happens to LOVE the heck out of my Mother and my family. (I have more than acknowledged my short comings and implored forgiveness and am very grateful and thankful to my sisters and expressed that more than once, even if they don't remember it.)

Anyway... I've decided that this will be the only place that I will deal with this... and if that person reads this... fine! Just know that I call into question: 1. Your Christianity and how your Grandmother would feel about the way you came across... where's your mercy and forgiveness... especially when lots of things have been forgiven? 2. I question your perception and how you live in pretty big glass house. You weren't the best teenager to your mother either... and you weren't the best mother to your own children as you went about your merry way. I too, know lots about you and your character. I know about your drug use, drinking, and all the many men you slept with after leaving your 2nd husband. And that you took my furniture and never, ever paid me a dime for it.... but I didn't say anything. The last time I saw you in person... you were rude and uppity and downright ghetto in your countenance. I've kept my mouth shut... tried to be kind and reach out to you... but, I think I'm done.

That's all I have to say on the subject... I'm certain that I ruffled a few feathers within my family now... I needed to speak my piece and I really just want peace within my family... and I didn't deserve to be attacked that way. Death and dying can really bring out the "ugly" in some people, I hope and pray that when my Mother passes, it will be with peace and surrounded by love... she deserves that.

Thanks for reading... be blessed.


Mrs. Darling said...

So sorry this happened. People can be so rude! I wouldnt give it anothe rthought. It is their loss and their problem not yours. You know your heart and you dont have to explain everything to all of them.

Did you know that you can choose who you want to see individual status updates on facebook? That might be the way to go in the future.

Sandy said...

Wow, are you sure we aren't related? That sounds like the kind of stuff that goes on in my family. Do what my sister does...keep chanting, "be a a duck" (you know, let it slide off your back like water off a duck). She is always telling me that "this too shall pass". She is a, not so much ;-) Just be the bigger person will sleep better at night for it!

Suzanne said...

Thanks, Mrs. Darling... you are a very wise woman. I appreciate the advice on Facebook and Dh and I went and immediately changed my profile.

Sandy... I think maybe we could be. I will chant "Be a Duck"... those are good words to have!

deanne said...

you did just go into "gory" details. in fact you got very personal and you should be questioning your own christianity now too. my sister did not get that personal, as you just did.who is living in that glass house now? why don't you look back at your own postings (which are not personal if you put it out there for the world to see)and re read some of them how you are judging your family members on how they are taking care of grandma.
and of course your not going to approve my comments foryour bloger friends to see because you only want them to know one side of you, the one you have created on this blog.

Suzanne said...

I have never said I was perfect... and I am very aware of my own shortcomings... I do not need rude little girls to attack me on my own personal pages.

The post referring to how my Mother is being cared for? - that was about a phone conversation between my sister and I and I was quoting myself... and how I felt. It was never intended to make anyone look bad, it was a way to vent in this process. I have had to long defend my place within this family, and my blog is my space and place to journal parts of my life... good, bad, or otherwise. (I don't like threats... and I will respond in the manner I chose... because the other person wouldn't allow me to respond. So then, the gloves came off.) This is the last comment in this matter.