Sunday, February 27, 2011

Reflections and Thoughts...

As I am enjoying the quiet of the morning... I began to think of the last 2 weeks. We've both had the flu prior to this past week. Work wise... we've both been busy. DH has had such a busy week this past week that I've tried be quiet and let him sleep as much as possible. I seem to be back on a regular sleep cycle of only needing between 7 and 8 hours of rest.

We've had appointments to keep and extra drive times because of weather. We've also begun to take a hard look at finances and where we can cut back to keep up with the rising costs of everything else. I think we are going to be trying to stretch our food dollars and eat at home much more. It's hard to not want to go out for a meal when I fight fatigue as much as I do... living with the after affects of cancer can be really tough sometimes. Yes... I am cancer free... but the changes a body goes through and the maintenance medications also take it's toll on you, be it in energy to carry on through the day or in a myriad of other ways.

We've decided that we are either going to go back to cleaning the house ourselves or have the cleaning lady only come twice a month. We have projects that we want to do this Spring... but we are wondering if we should do them, given the state of world affairs and how they are affecting each of us directly in the pocket book. We've had some big set-backs in the last 6 months... and we don't have our nest egg anymore. We need to be diligent in saving as much as we can but also be smart in how we spend our money. I know that God does supply our needs... but it's also my responsibility to be wise in my spending habits.

Well.... this has gone in a different direction... but it's out there now. We continue to seek what God would have us to do... and we continue to struggle with being human and having wants and desires. I need to remind myself to be content with what I have... it's more than a lot of people have... and I don't want to worry about having to "keep up with the Jones or the Smiths". We are happy and we love our quiet life... and we take great comfort in knowing that God is a restorative God who loves us.

Thanks for reading... be blessed!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Flu and Love in Action

It's been a trying week at the cottage... we've both been hit with the flu. I was struck down Tuesday night after coming home from work... and if it hadn't been for my wonderful DH, things would have been pretty ugly around here. Poor DH was hit with it on Thursday morning in the course of his work day... and he happened to be over 100 miles from home with a drive up the turnpike that doesn't offer many stops. Needless to say... he grabbed some medication from the first aid kit and was able to get home before it got too bad. We are still suffering from some of the lingering aspects of this bug.

We braved the cold temperatures and high winds today to get our errands done. We finished at one store and decided to have a bit of lunch. We pulled into a fast-food joint on the side of town we were on... and I noticed an older man standing near the door. We parked and walked inside... ordered and sat down. We enjoyed our meal, talked and played on our phones, and right before we were leaving, I noticed the man walking from up the street at brisk pace. It was so windy and cold and there were snow flurries.

We went out to the car and went down the road to our next stop, a strip mall where my pharmacy is. We parked and went inside to get my meds... and we weren't really lingering. As we came back out of the store, the man was standing inside the glassed in area of the strip mall, looking out. As we came to him, we both smiled at him and he asked... "Do you have 39 cents so I can catch the bus?" Of course we did... and DH reached for his wallet to give him money. I asked him, "Do you need something to eat?" The man looked down, and said, "I didn't want to ask..." DH reached in his wallet and gave him the rest of what he had. It wasn't much, but we knew he needed it and he headed to the grocery store. I wish I had taken him shopping to get more of what he needed.

It was a humbling experience... and it made me so grateful that I was able to walk to a nice car to drive home. We had more than enough to share with someone who needed it. It's tough out there for so many, and by all accounts in the media lately, it's not going to get any easier. In the past few days... I have been able to enjoy friends and good fortune, and also to help someone else. It felt good... and I hope God gives me more opportunities like this one to give without judgement or reservation.

Thanks for reading... be blessed!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Work Week Wrapped Up

Well... I went back to work this week. After being home for 3 weeks healing my brain and my body, I hit the ground running at full speed on Monday. It felt good to get back into the groove and do my thing. It felt good to have support from other team members... even as I struggled to grasp what they had accomplished in my absence and how the work was divided up. Now... at the end of the week, we have done some good work and I think we shall see our goals met for the end of the month.

I have to admit, my energy and stamina were taxed that first day. But as I look back on the week, I paced myself, dug in my heels when I needed to, and got it done. It's been a bit taxing on me as I drive past the accident scene every day, and see where my car went over... but I calm myself with deep breathing and focusing on where the cars are and listen to music... and get myself through it.

I've had some help medically... or chemically as it were. My doctor and I agreed to put myself back on a very low dose of anti-depressant medication to help me cope with post traumatic stress syndrome. It has been a very trying time to get my mental health back on track after surviving what could have been a very traumatic accident. (It still is traumatic, but not in a horrible traumatic injury way... make sense?) I try not to fixate on the what if... or the why... cause it can only me feel crazy after awhile. So... instead both DH and I focus on feel grateful, feeling blessed and knowing that God truly does have it all under control while my scrambled brain still heals. It's good to see my progress and it's good to see laughter and joy return to our home after such a stressful event.

Thanks for reading... be blessed!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Simple Woman's Daybook...

FOR TODAY (February 1, 2011)...

Outside my window... there is snow everywhere you look... and lots of icicles.

I am thinking... that I cannot wait to go back to work once I am able to go.

I am thankful for... God's Love and Hedge of Protection around me... to be recovering from only "moderate injuries" instead of major head trauma and broken bones or internal injuries.

From the kitchen... there are ginger snaps in the cookie jar, baked my darling husband, and plans for a good hearty meal of meatloaf and baked potatoes for dinner tonite.

I am wearing... jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and warm socks.

I am creating... order out of chaos from totalling my car two weeks ago.

I am going... absolutely no where... the weather dictates staying in.

I am reading... lots of blogs when I feel like it, facebook and... really, not much else as it's too taxing right now.

I am hoping... to overcome this small obstacle and give God the Glory for seeing me through this time.

I am hearing... the heat coming on, the dogs snoring behind me... and someone's sno-thrower in the distance.

Around the house... things are fairly orderly, I've done some handwashing and have sweaters drying flat.

One of my favorite things...having my husband call me to let me know he made down the turnpike safely in this snow and ice.

A few plans for the rest of the week: only to continue to rest as much as I can, and see the doctor again on Friday and hopefully be well enough to return to work.

Thanks for reading... be blessed!