Family issues are just that... Family stuff and expectations along with good manners. It is hurtful to me when I go to great trouble to send generous gifts and my phone never rings to acknowledge that gift. Not just from the kiddos it was sent to, but also their parents. I can't be generous like that too often and won't be sending gifts like that again.
We received a call just over 2 weeks ago that DH's grandmother was hospitalized and wasn't going to last much longer. We hastily made arrangements for our pups, packed bags, and rearranged calendars and appointments, held mail, and called the bank while on the road. We were in DH's hometown for a total of 10 days, staying in a small inn just south of there. We ate all of our meals out except for one, and purchased groceries and supplies for all those staying at his father's house. We bought meals for people staying at the hospital and lent support to his 2 sisters who decided to stay at the hospital for the duration. To say it was stressful is really moot now. It is always that way in these types of situations.
When DH's gram began to transition, she was moved back home on hospice. DH was able to accompany her on her last journey to her home and comfort her and hold her hand. We stayed close by and tried to be supportive as each person had time with her to say good bye. On what was to be her last night with us, Gram's daughter brought down Gram's jewelry box. We were instructed to go through it and take pieces that would mean something to each of us. I had a small pile of things and had been making certain anything that I saw that was valuable was given to DH's aunt. I ended up taking a small gold bracelet for DH's daughter, a couple small lapel pins, and 2 costume sliding hearts. Nothing of any real value, just nice looking pieces that I would wear.
Later that night, we got the call that Gram had passed and did we want to come back before they took her. We made the journey quickly... Went in to see her. As we went into the kitchen after, I was subjected to what brings the worst out in people at times like that. DH's sister said ominously that she wanted to talk to me... And tried to push DH out of the way and told him to go away. He stood his ground and stayed to witness the travesty that unfolded... She attacked me about what jewelry I had taken, that it may be of great value and it better not be sold. (I quietly replied, "first wife, yes... Second wife, no.") She then went on to attack me about not being invited to our wedding... And I replied, "we've been down this road." DH's cousin and his aunt were sitting right there... And they both stopped her from continuing on. I was mortified, embarrassed and upset at being accosted like that. I walked away to the other side of the room to get my coat and DH's father was standing there. He saw that I was upset and asked me what was wrong... I think I muttered something to the effect that I didn't fit into his family and Imturned and went out the back door with DH right behind me.
His father came out the door and proceeded to scream at me about my attitude. I asked him to stop yelling and he continued... So I walked to the car and got in... Not saying another word. I had DH drive me to the inn. I went in and retrieved the small box of jewelry and told him to take it back to his aunt.
We didn't really speak to his father or his 2 sisters for the duration of our time there. We were relegated to sitting in the 4th row of chairs... And it was very awkward at then luncheon after. DH and I are really speechless at the actions of certain members of his family. It was a sad time only increased by the ugliness of people who were grieving. We have to return in April for the burial... I hope I can take it.